Maybe you can help me decide.
Seven of the Scandalites were at it this afternoon over a doozy of a rumor. Or is it "doozie"? Anyway, they all had salads. Every one of them. Seven succulent, svelte and slimmish salads instead of their usual Friday fare: seven LicketyChick burgers with all the trimmings and seven Cocoa Blast malteds with real whipped cream and flaked dark chocolate on top.
The doozy/doozie is not that they had those salads, per se. It's because of they ordered those salads not thirty seconds after Lissa Flaymore dropped her bombshell: there are going to be nude book readings in the Licket Mansion. That's what Mork Fanzer said, at least. And Mork was in a perfect position to eavesdrop, being in the next booth pretending he was dozing during his usual mid-afternoon lull.
After Shonni, the afternoon chef, jammed a plastic bucket over my head to try to squelch my hysterical laughter, Mork worked really hard to convince me that there's a connection between eating salads and nude book readings in the Licket Mansion. As in, these seven Scandalites were getting themselves in shape, just in case they got invited to a nude book reading. That's Mork's theory, and although he's not really from the planet Ork (and his real name is Harold), our Mork's mission in life is a whole lot like the Mork's (the Robin Williams character) from that old sitcom, Mork and Mindy: to observe the bizarre customs of the earthlings and then report back to his great Orkan leader, Orson. Except that the Today Cafe's Mork reports back to Yours Truly, not Orson.
Thing is, I know EXACTLY where that bizarre rumor got started. My brother, Scott. Yes, the very same Scott who did such a magnificent job of programming the new look of this blog (he's a software engineer as well as a writer, near-futurist and reverend). Scott was up from LA to check on the restoration of the Licket Mansion. The third floor, in particular, which is where The Story Loft is going to be.
"I sure appreciate your patience, Mr. Ellison. It's going to be worth the wait. You can trust me on that." Lissa Flaymore was doing the talking. Lissa the realtor and leasing agent. Lissa the Scandalite...the very cute, very single, very raven-haired Scandalite.
"I'm absolutely certain I can trust you on that, Miss Flaymore," said my spot-on courteous brother. "But can I trust you with a little secret? We've got a whole bunch of celebrities who are going be coming up here to help launch our new book reading program. I don't know if we'll be able to get Tom Cruise, but we're trying." He was just kidding about Tom Cruise.
So here's where I need your help. Should the proper category for this post be "The Scandalites", or maybe "You Didn't Hear It Here?" Or something else?
While I'm waiting for your ideas, we're taking up a collection to buy Lissa a big box of Q-Tips.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true." -- Winston Churchill
Go ahead: hear what you want to hear today. You deserve it.
Liking the new look, T.
The Scadalites, definitely. Hey, I'll come read.
Posted by: Edgy Mama | September 11, 2005 at 06:05 PM
I will bring speak with the co-owner of the Story Loft on the matter of Edgy Mama's volunteering to do nude readings. Talk about EDGY!
Posted by: The Proprietor | September 12, 2005 at 07:22 PM
Hello, my Dear......Tell me , what my photo doing there?....??
http://chicasensual20.tripod.com
Posted by: LitleMarta | February 05, 2008 at 08:22 AM